Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
this beer tastes like vomit already
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
