Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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