Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
