i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize