oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
