You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
