Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
