I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
