I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
