Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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