Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
