you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
vagina is talking i cant
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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