She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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