We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
