whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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