She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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