my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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