You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
