porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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