: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
