Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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