how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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