mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
