You're so nebulous sometimes
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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