Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
