So drunk its hurt
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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