Midget sex pt 2 tonight
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
