so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
3 2 1 whiskey
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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