Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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