and next time when you feel me up, do it right
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
