I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
