all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize