I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
