You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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