Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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