States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize