My brain says no but my pants say off.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
