I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
is that a dick in a sweater?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
