For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm just crazy horny about you
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
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