I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
