Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The ass gains better be worth it
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