YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
