oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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