i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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