I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
