I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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