smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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