Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
