Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
