The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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