wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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