3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
