Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
