my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Apparently you make a good broom.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize