As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize