I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
