There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
