So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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