if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
