i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
