You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
