Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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