i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
