I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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